


A Void Full of Your Light

by emthefireybird



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Cuddles, Fluff, M/M, Sleeping Together, Sleeping in the same bed, blind!Dirk, character ingury, its not permanent, sort of a sick fic, todd takes care of him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 17:05:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11361804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emthefireybird/pseuds/emthefireybird
Summary: Dirk goes blind for a day, fluff ensues.





	A Void Full of Your Light

Dirk finds himself fading to consciousness, he finds himself shifting, pulling his blankets over his head with a grumble. He doesn’t open his eyes yet, not quite ready to face the universe. As soon as he admits to himself that he’s awake, he’ll be thrown into the churning waves of chaos again. Instead, he makes a list in his head. Water the plants, make tea, take a shower, wake Todd. Things he knows he would do automatically anyway, but he makes a list anyways. Dirk heaves a sigh and pulls the covers down from his head and opens his eyes to look around, except… he doesn't see anything. All he sees is inky blackness, which technically is something, but it’s not the something he should be seeing. He lifts his hands to his eyes, making sure that his eyes really are open and unobstructed. They are. Dirk takes a shuddering breath, then another. His breathing slowly turns to small gasping breaths. He thinks he might be crying. Dirk closes his eyes. Breathes. He realizes that overall he needs help. He needs Todd.

Dirk stands on wobbling legs, nerves mixed with his lost vision making him walk as if he were a newborn deer. He takes a step towards the door, holding onto his dresser and the wall for support. Dirk breathes. Slowly, he makes his way out of his apartment. He closes the door behind him and makes his way down the hall, realizing that he now has to face the stairs. He holds both railings as he fumbles downwards. He reaches for a step and slips, tumbling down the remaining few steps. Dirk tries again to stand and finds that his ankle is in blinding pain. He feels tears on his face again. He limps the rest of the way.

Dirk opens Todd’s door out of habit, no key needed for the lockless door. “Todd?” He calls, his voice sounding louder in his ears than he could ever imagine. “Todd?” He calls again, daring only to raise his voice slightly. He hears no response. Arms outstretched, Dirk limps to Todd’s room, managing to run into only a few things on his way. He stumbles over a shoe in Todd’s doorway, letting out a whimper as he puts more weight on his ankle. He barely gains his balance by grabbing onto the bed. He hears shuffling. 

“Dirk? Are you alright?” Todd’s voice was quiet. Or loud, really. But he sounded quite sleepy and light in a way that made Dirk assume that his hair was all messy and ruffled. 

“I’m, ah! Fine, really.” Dirk was not fine at all, and he knew Todd could tell, even in his half awake state. 

“Dirk, What the-” Dirk heard more shuffling as he assumed Todd got fully out of bed. He jumped as he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, the unexpected touch making him feel more jittery than before. He realized then that his breathing had lapsed back into hyperventilation, short gasps being all he could manage. “Dirk, what happened?” Todd asked, sounding panicked. Dirk felt another hand on his shoulder guiding him to sit down.

“I- Don’t know- how to-”

“Dirk, stop, breath, okay? You’re fine now. Whatever’s happening, you’re gonna be fine.” Dirk paused to take two long gasps of breath, his entire body shaking from head to toe. Todd’s hand was settled on Dirk’s back, comforting and unwavering. Dirk tried to focus on that as he attempted to calm down. Finally, his panic subsided enough for him to breath properly.

“Todd, I’m blind.”

“You’re what?”

“Blind, Todd, I- I can’t see.”

“What happened? Are you alright?”

“I don’t know, honestly. I just woke up and my vision was gone.”

“Does- does that just happen to people?”

“I- I don’t know.”

“We need to get you to the hospital.”

 

“I’m sure it’s fine-”

“It’s not fine, Dirk, we need to make sure you’re gonna be okay.” Dirk could hear Todd standing, the rugged floorboards creaking as fabric rustled. Dirk hear Todd take a few steps towards the door, the whistling of the air as Todd gestured for him to follow. “C’mon Dirk.” Dirk stood and took a step towards Todd, his feet catching on the edge of the bed and making him wobble violently. Dirk jumped yet again as he felt Tadd’s hands before he heard them, steadying him before he managed to fall. Dirk managed to clasp onto Todd’s arm for support, his hand coming to rest on his bicep. “Lean on me if you need to,” Todd told him, wrapping his arm around Dirks back to keep him from falling. It was nice, Dirk thought, to have Todd’s attention like this. He thought he could get quite used to it. 

With Todd’s help, descending the other flight of stairs went much smoother than it did the first time. Todd acted as a sort of human crutch. A human crutch who was being entirely too patient for his normal self. Dirk appreciated this almost as much as the attention. Almost. “Dirk, you okay?” Dirk started and realized that he too was being uncharacteristic, but that had more to do with him being much too quiet. 

“I’m fine! Brilliant, really. I guess I’m just focused on not falling to my death. I mean, I’m not sure I would die, but breaking my neck on a staircase does seem like something I would do, doesn't it? I’d look smashing in a neck brace, mind you, but I’d rather not-” Dirk babbled as much as he could. Probably too much, really. Even for him, talking non-stop was tiring. They managed the stair, then the hall, until they came to the outside door. They hobbled through it fine, it wasn’t until Todd let go of Dirk to lock the door behind them that anything happened. Dirk felt lost as soon as Todd let go of him. It was as if Todd wasn’t even there like he had faded into the black abyss. Dirk started shaking again. He reached out his hand and grabbed Todd’s arm. 

“Ow! Hey- are you okay Dirk?” Dirk nodded quietly. For a second, it had felt as if he were all alone. Lik Todd had left him to fumble along the streets alone. Todd put his arm back around Dirk and helped him over to the car. Dirk managed to bang his head on the roof and almost close his foot in the door, but other than that they were fine. Todd walked around the car to get into his seat, and Dirk held down the feeling in his gut until he heard the door close. He immediately fumbled around until he found Todd’s hand. He heard a small puff of air, likely either a huff of laughter or a sigh. Dirk could tell that Todd was giving him That Look again. Todd squeezed his hand lightly. 

Todd sat in the waiting room to the hospital, leg bouncing and mind jumping to a thousand conclusions at once. Dirk was in the hospital room itself, where Todd had not been able to go since he wasn't family. If only they knew. There was a sound of quiet chatter and shuffling just as the door to the room opened, revealing Dirk, who was being escorted by a nurse and looked very uncomfortable. Todd stood and took Dirk's arm, shooing away the nurse and turning to his friend.

“So?”

“So I'm definitely blind.”

“Is it permanent?”

“Probably not, it should be gone in the next two weeks.” Dirk was a lot more sad about this than he should be. 

“So… coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

\---

The bell above the door tinkled as Dirk and Todd entered the shop. It was quaint and quiet, just the way Dirk preferred. He could hear glass clinking and the coffee machine humming. He took a breath. The room smelled like cinnamon and coffee and chocolate. Dirk walked towards the counter by habit and caught his foot on an uneven board. As he tumbled forward he felt a hand grab the back of his shirt and pull him to the side. Before he knew what was happening, he had been pulled into Todd's arms. “Maybe I should lead” Todd snorted.

“Yes, definitely. Um. Right. You should lead.” Todd let him go slowly, making sure he wasn't falling again before he slipped his hand back into Dirks. Dirk followed as Todd tugged him forward. Todd stopped, causing Dirk to bump into his back. Todd let out a quiet huff and squeezed Dirks hand gently.

“A large red eye with a double shot of espresso and two sugars, and a chocolate mocha with whipped cream and extra cream and sugar.”

“With sprinkles, if you have any,” Dirk added. He could feel Todd's eyes on him, but he wasn't sure where on the spectrum exasperated of looks this one landed since he couldn't gauge his expression visually. “Is that an 'I'm pretty sure I could strangle you' look or a 'you're an idiot but you're my idiot' it look?” he asked. He's heard the barista snort. He could practically hear Todd blushing, but he knew he could feel his gaze harden as he let out a huff.

“That'll be 6.23 for you and your boyfriend.”

“He's not- whatever.” Dirk heard the clicking of exchanged money passing from Todd to the barista. He almost squealed when he felt Todd take his hand suddenly. Almost. Tod squeezed his hand and lead him slowly over the uneven floor before stopping him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. they stood quietly for a moment, the abnormality of a silent moment sinking birth their skin somewhere in between peaceful and disconcerting. Dirk listened to the cafe around them, the previous noise seeming so much more prevalent now. There was a sound of two drinks being sat down on the counter in front of them. Todd eased the first into Dirk's empty hand and picked the other up himself. Dirk felt a small tug on his hand for him to follow. He did. 

Hot drinks in hand they left the shop and exited into the outdoor air. Todd lead him along the streets, keep him from bumping into strangers and walking into traffic. Dirk felt Todd's hand in his and thought that he could definitely get used to this. Dirk attempted a careful sip as they stopped at what he assumed was a street corner, judging by the noise. He managed to get some of the chocolaty concoction into his mouth before managing to get whipped cream all over his face. He didn't bother trying to wipe it off since he would have to let go of Todd to do so. He heard him snort from beside him. 

Slowly the awkwardness wore off, and the impregnable silent turned into distant one-sided chatter, with various sounds from Todd to indicate that he was still listening. 

Soon Todd stopped them again, this time pulling out something that sounded like keys. They were back at their apartment building. Todd carefully lead Dirk up the stairs, one hand on his waist and the other on his shoulder to steady him. Dirk could feel his face flushing slightly, but he was sure Todd wouldn't notice.

Dirk and Todd sat on the couch, knees touching. Dirk was as relaxed as possible, considering his loss of sight. He doc mostly on what he could hear. Currently, he could hear Todd's breathing, the hum of electricity as it coursed through the walls, and a bird that was outside the window. It was almost calming to know these sounds. Really, though, he wished he could see Todd's resting face and the sunlight in the window. He wished he could see so that Todd didn't have to worry, but hey, that wasn't happening.

“Maybe you should get a service dog,” Todd said, inter the audio balance in the best of ways.

“What for? We already have shark-kitten.”

“To like, lead you around, keep you from dying and stuff.:

“I have you for that.”

“I’m- I’m not a service dog!”

“You're very close. Loyal, helpful, short, cu-”

“Fine, I lead you around, but didn't you say you wanted a dog?”

“Well, yes, but now doesn't seem to be the best time to take on more responsibilities.”

“That- that's fair.”

\---

“Don't you think maybe we should go to sleep?” Indeed, as Todd looked out his apartment window, the sky had turned dark in the time that he and Dirk had been sitting on the couch.

“Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

"Do you want the couch or the bed?"

"Couch is fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely, besides, it'll be easier to find things from here if I need to."

"Right. Okay, uh. There's a blanket beside you, and there's pillows... just yell if you need something."

“Uh… todd?” the creaking of the floorboards paused as Todd stopped, his hand still hovering over the arm of the couch. dirk could feel his whole body vibrating.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I could… sleep with you?” there was a pause somewhere between awkward and thoughtful, the quiet hanging much heavier on Dirk as he couldn't read Todd's expression. He slowly reached for Todd's hand, his fingertips grazing his hand and hovering there, comforting but noncommittal. 

“Sure, okay. I mean, it's fine.” Todd sounded nervous, though Dirk had no idea why.

“You sure? I don't want to bother you.” Dirk pressed, wanting to make sure.

“That's never stopped you before, c'mon.” Todd dropped back to his usual tone, grumpy but ultimately fond. Dirk was almost relieved. Todd grasped his hand and helped him get up, staying him by his elbow as he stumbled slightly, managing to ram his shin against the coffee table. Dirk clung to Todd's arm as he limped down the hall, attempting to keep himself from bumping into anything.

Todd slowly eased Dirk onto the bed, letting him go and climbing in on the other side. Dirk slid his hand against the covers and found where they began, pulling them down and shuffling underneath until his arm was pressed against Todd's. Slowly Todd's breath seemed to even out. Dirk lay still, eyes wide though he knew he would see nothing. 

 

“Thank you.”


End file.
